Adult Survivors

Hey you guys!

I hope that you’re having a wonderful 2025!

I only have one recording to share with you in this post.

It talks about the book Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members by SHERRIE CAMPBELL, PhD

I have to warn that it IS pretty long and I also get emotional a couple times in it so appologise for that ahead of time.

Please note that I DO make some mistakes in this recording but I do not believe that everything has to be perfect either. Everything is mainly correct but I mix things up in some areas.

Still, you can listen to it

Please also note that I nolonger have the poster I speak of that Charles Strouse signed because after a house fire in 2001, I painted AROUND Charles Strouses signature to cover the fire damage.

Someone stole that painting though as well as a forever plaid poster that was signed by some theatre friends. I have great memories of working in what is now the Savannah Theatre taking tickets for that show. When I told my family, they of course did not believe me and nothing was done to help. Those who have them today are thieves.

I did not give those posters away nor would I do so if they were in my possession again. I loved my theatre family. You can hear how much. I realise today though that some simply nolonger love me and most likely never did. Many (NOT ALL) most likely only loved my father.

I STILL love the theatre because the thing is theatre isn’t only in Ga. I love ALL actors. I consider ALL of them family to a point.

Those who have abused me, I nolonger consider family or want anything to do with. My family just does support my abusers because that’s how supportive they are of family. That’s how IMPORTANT the way society sees them is to them. It goes FAR beyond right and wrong.

I did not get into that in this recording but they know exactly who they are. This may NOT be Hollywood and my abuser may not be Harvey Weinstein but society fears speaking the TRUTH about those who are known! It’s SICK! Those in society who judge me due to my abusers status can seriously bite me. I am not afraid and DO realise that not ALL actors are abusive, thoughtless, harmful people. I’m not afraid to believe in those who are good! I will not allow anyone to silence me with fear.

I’m just realistic because that is still a completely different type of family.

I could have contacted those who helped Charles Strouse but my father told me that Charles Strouse is a very busy person and not to bother him.

Although, I DO talk about the fact that I question why my parents wanted me to risk my life by taking me to the theatre when my seizures were SOO bad, I also realise that being distracted from all of the issues I had to deal with helped me from having even MORE seizures because stress is the leading cause of seizures.

My seizures were NOT under control at that time and due to that fact ALONE I could NOT always handle the theatre correctly. If my seizures had been under control, I believe theatre would have been a great place for me. I know that some would disagree because Grand-mal seizures can kill but Epilepsy or not people deserve to live. Theatre helped me to live during high school. I was HUGELY abused in high school and cried myself to sleep almost every night.

Still, I not only had to realise that my dream of growing up to drive was taken away, while others COULD live that dream but growing up in the theatre I had to watch as others who could audition and get roles. You probably HAVE to watch the in many art forms and MOST can put it in perspective. I couldn’t at first and due to my health had to learn to. If anyone suffering from abuse ever wonders how I could learn to cope, it’s because I’ve been learning to cope with my emotions since I was 15yrs.

Before my seizures, I was a bookworm though.

You can find my substack link at:

https://mstaylor.substack.com/

I do intend on returning to videos there later and would LOVE your support! Thank you to anyone who has supported me so far. It truly does matter!

I just need to fully recover from whatever this is before posting on substack. Although, honestly I really don’t care at the moment and may post before I am better. Interestingly though I feel much better for a couple days only to feel awful again.

I have NO idea what’s up there because it’s not just feeling tired but my head fills again and my ears fill up.

You can also visit my Instagram at:

https://www.instagram.com/angelasartarea/

I would LOVE your support there as well.

Please note that I am not sharing there as often due to the fact that Facebook will not allow me to sign in, I’m not 100% sure about Instagram.

You can honestly tell that I just couldn’t handle the amount of stress some of my distant relatives must have due to being in the spotlight.

I know that I’ve talked about some of them in the past and I STILL feel strongly about many.

I just realise today that even with art, I wouldn’t want SO many fans that I couldn’t choose to get out of the spotlight easily.

I just want to create enough to help me pay my bills and I know that will be possible when these technical issues are finally helped. I can NOT just charge monthly here but many different place. Sadly, they couldn’t do that when I was growing up. That option hadn’t been created yet. That’s why I have to give artists from when I was growing up, etc. ALOT of credit.

When I speak of distant relatives and those who have inspired me, etc. it’s not because I wish to be as rich as they are or gain any sort of fame. It’s not a call to their fans to come look at me.

When it comes to those I am related to through blood it is simply because I am proud of the fact some of their blood is in mine, even if it’s a small amount. Many are proud of their ancestors. In those cases, it is NEVER questioned that being proud has nothing whatsoever to do with money. Why should my being proud be any different? Why should I NOT be allowed to be proud without SOMEONE hating me due to it? If it bothers some, hear me now…I could care less! I am proud of my blood! I am proud of my ancestors and proud of who I am. I deserve to be proud of who I am. I have blood from both the U.S.A., Scotland, England and Ireland and I’m damn proud of it!

That small amount touches my heart, which goes far beyond money. I am just as worthy of being proud as anyone. It’s ok that I TRULY love my distant relatives. It has nothing whatsoever to do with their money.

It’s just like having emotions for those who have inspired me, etc. has nothing whatsoever to do with money or gaining from their fame. I do not want fame.

It’s simply that, those who I believe in, I will always consider family to a point.

Still, if someone offered help getting there and offered a room in the castle that was once offered to my great-grandfather, I’d take it.

I’d pack my bags, leave EVERYTHING, EVERYONE and just move to Scotland.

I would be free at last and noone could control me by trying to scare me with taking away the option of dr.s help because medical bills are paid in Scotland. I’d be FREE living in the land where my ancestors lived. In my point of view everyone is NOT free in the U.S.A. anymore. you’re only free if you have the money to pay for that freedom. If not, your choices are limited and people treat you very differently.

I’d ignore the movies, etc. made there and just happily hide away in one room. As long as I could see highland cows, I truly wouldn’t care. I’d probably spend 24/7 outside sketching and painting them though!

Please know that I’m not 100% sure if I can post every Monday at the moment.

I’ll try to if I’m feeling better though.

On that note, I shall say until next time!

Namaste, Angela

P.S. Don’t spank your kids!